TEXT OF ESSAY

Mankind is raping Mother nature. Man has been doing so ever since he decided to breed animals to fulfill his desires. He bred mules to have an animal with strength and speed, he bred chihuahuas so that people can have a tiny dog they can treat as substitutes for babies, and he bred race horses to ensure that their offspring will always be faster than normal horses. Yet, despite the obvious benefits of scientific experimentation on fellow man, humans refuse to run science experiments on their off kind. Why do we do this? The answer is brusque and callous beyond all reason: Because it is better to test on other species rather than your own. In a familial manner, this makes sense; after all, would you rather beat up a stranger or your own siblings? However, this really just translates into humanity's arrogance, the belief that mankind is superior to all other species, the belief that mankind was modeled in the image of "God" (who must have been a terrible artist at best [i.e. Africa, lepers, fat, and ugly people]). The protests become exponentially more violent when the experimental subjects shifts from animals to fellow humans. Face it folks, mankind has been tampering with nature since Day One when man decided that he had no time to grow more body hair to adapt to the cold or claws to hunt prey and to adapt his environment to suit him instead. Thus, he molded weapons from sticks and rocks, used dogs for tracking prey and rode on horses to catch prey. From that day, mankind proceeded to breed fruit to produce whatever he felt like eating at the time. Personally, I believe that any action that subverts Natural Selection such as Genetic Engineering should be banned. However, since we have already started modifying genes, I shall now quote my cousin Chuck: "If it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing." If designer babies ever comes around, I am going to immediately demand the following: I want this child to be both black and white with the colors split down the middle. Also I want its face to look like Hitler. "But sir, that's not even your child." Exactly...

The list of things keeping mankind in check as a race shrinks each and every year: Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Natural Disasters, Violence, other predators, cancer, birth defects, stupidity, etc. These elements exist for the purpose of a concept known as "Natural Selection," Survival of the Fittest, a contest to ensure that bad genes such as Down Syndrome, AIDS, and other diseases are kept to a minimum. In spite of all this, Mankind has begun subverting Natural Selection and replacing it with Artificial Selection, the belief that mankind will breed whatever type of animals we want for any reasons whatsoever (i.e. pack mules, chihuahuas, glowing bacteria, etc.). Modern Society is overriding the process of Natural Selection by implementing things such as healthcare to help the people who may never have made it past a few hours after birth survive and reproduce. A side effect of allowing all people to live on and reproduce is the prevalence of people with Down Syndrome and other genetic defects. Had people with genetic defects been allowed to live in the wild, they would have died and the gene pool would have been rid of some bad genes. But alas, no, mankind likes having such crap inside the gene pool because it is one of us.

Now, I am going to answer the ubiquitous question, "Is man playing God?" The hell with playing God, man IS God. In my opinion, if there is a God, then he must have left Mother Nature in charge of Planet Earth, a person who may possibly be more apathetic than ten exact clones of me. Mother Nature is indifferent to our suffering (yes, bad things do happen to bad people too, it's just rarely noticed compared to "bad thing to "good people"), God left her in charge of Earth, therefore, by the authority invested in me by the Transitive Property of Mathematics and possibly logic, I reason that God himself must also be apathetic. Consider life as a play for a moment. Since "God" is apathetic, then the role of Almighty Force controlling Nature is empty. Who fills that role then? Naturally, it would only make sense if "God's" greatest creation and understudy mankind fills his role. There folks, is my proof that mankind IS in fact "God," doctors in particular. If anyone feels that it is absolutely wrong to even attempt to perform any of "God's" duties, then feel free to live in the woods without any of mankind's creations: Healthcare, medicine, clothes (all animals are naked and they survive pretty well), anything plastic, ceramic, or styrofoam, etc. You also cannot consume any yogurt, cheese, tofu, bread, seedless watermelon etc. because those are not "natural" and therefore not part of "The Divine Plan."

Evolution is defined as "a change in the allele frequencies of a population." In other words, if more and more people developed tan skin at birth, then the population is technically evolving to adapt better to the amount of sunlight their region receives. Genetic engineering is only going to speed this process up even faster. Yes there will be some necessary sacrifices along the way, but science has always been like that. After all, how can you have a decent science experiment without some test subjects be they animal, plant, or man? You might as well be discussing mathematics without ever mentioning numbers or variables. Those who oppose genetic engineering for fear of killing a few people via the inevitable experimental errors that will surely occur as long as genetic engineering research remains in its infancy stage are too afraid to question social taboos. Through history, science made progress mostly because it challenged social taboos at the time. Galileo discovered that he universe revolved around the Sun but was quickly silenced by the Church and forced to declare that the universe revolved around the Earth. Likewise, Genetic Engineering is still in its experimental phase. The technology has been tested on animals, now it is time to use it on fellow humans. Why must we do so? Because humans are the ones that are ultimately going to be the ones using the technology on themselves, might as well test on the same species rather than "similar species" then make conjectures about the effects of the experiment on monkeys will probably have on humans. If anyone is opposed to this technology, then I would like to read them their Miranda Rights: They have the right to remain silent. Simple. Opponents of this technology shall be excluded from reaping its benefits.

Which brings me to my next topic: Stem Cells. The blasocyst (an embryo 3-5 days old) is merely a cluster of cells that may never have been fertilized without the intervention of scientists and therefore is already unnatural life as it is (the female only releases about 5% of the eggs she was endowed with at birth). There are those who believe that such a cluster of cells is considered human life. As for those who believe that "Potential Life" deserves the same rights as Developed Life. I would like to refer those people to a George Carlin Quote, "If potential life is treated like developed life, then every woman who has had more than one period is a serial killer." Let's face it folks, a group of cells is not a human any more than a box full of severed limbs. Fun Fact: the human embryo is almost indistinguishable from a chicken embryo until it reaches the "Point of no return" time period in stem cell research. Coincidentally, the same people who object to stem cell testing on human embryos could probably care less about chicken embryos. To prove my point, ask them if they have ever eaten eggs in their life time. Anybody who is against seizing the power of science for the improvement of mankind might as well vote for an apathetic for president. Here is the chance to accomplish major things for all of mankind, this is a field of science where many Nobel Prizes will be handed out, this is an opportunity to cure the uncurable, to treat the untreatable and some people would throw that opportunity away simply because they are afraid of harming a few extra unwanted embryos? The opposition would argue: "but all life is sacred, that includes embryos." I would like to refer them to a George Carlin quote: "We are born, we do stuff, then we die, so where does the sacred part come in?" I would also encourage them to hold elaborate funerals every time somebody has a miscarriage and read eulogies about "the life that could have been." Now, consider a single bacterium, in a time frame of six hours, it would replicate itself enough times to blanket all of Earth in about six feet of itself. Could you imagine if all of the "leftover embryos" from fertilization clinics were injected into surrogate mothers and allowed to develop into children? Mankind would overshoot the Earth's carrying capacity, there would be more mouths to feed than food itself, the amount of care required to nurse each and every one of those children would consume so much time that people such as the "octomom" would have absolutely no time to be a productive member of society. Speaking of society, if we are to provide said "octomom" with enough money for child support, where would we get the money to pay for sudden influx in population? Would the Federal Government have to declare Monopoly Money legal tender?

Now it is time for me to answer the question of Human Dignity. It is nothing more than arrogance and pride that mankind is no longer affected by the process of Natural Selection as much as the other species. If you are a parent, then you know that humans are usually plucked from their "Paradise" after nine months then suddenly thrust into an unknown world with some people in masks and gloves holding them in the air then spanking them on the ass until they cry. From that point on, we are told that "we can be anything we want to be" (there is a comic strip satirizing said saying where some kid wants to become a Komodo Dragon) then forced to fill out paperwork (a.k.a. homework), shoved into High School where everybody must now think narrowly as opposed to the open-endedness of childhood. From that point on, it's a scramble to see who gets accepted into which college, a struggle not too different from the sharks inside their mother's womb eating the others to survive. Those that do get into college then spend the rest of their lives attempting to balance work and raising a family of their own. Then comes aging. The process where our bones, joints, and muscles become progressively weaker and weaker as time goes on and we are unable to do the things we used to do. We become more and more nostalgic and regret not doing Hobby A or pursuing Profession X. Where does the dignity come in? Has anyone seen the world today? Ethic wars, racism, religious violence, drug wars, a crappy economy, and rap music. The world is not dignified, those that wish to "dignify" the world, I recommend you just take opium, that way you can at least get that "feel-good" sensation that they try to imitate in Disney movies. Genetic Engineering is the future. Move along with time, not against it.